Archive for June, 2008

Chicken Hawk pinches one off in his smock.

June 21, 2008




Off the  far tip of his right wing comes a deafening squawk

It’s the horrendous bloodthirsty battle cry of the Chicken hawk!

Brainwashed mind capable only of repeating Weakly Standard schlock

Thinks fighting real wars is easy and painless like being a video game jock

About dropping daisy cutters on “the ragheads” he loves to talk

But his ass is like a Tweety bird but who talks like Sgt Rock

Postures just like a Rambo puppet made from a sock

Won’t ever see him volunteering for duty in Iraq

Away, away from the recruiting station he will run , not walk

Any hint of actual danger causes his knees to violently knock

When he’s confronted with his own cowardice. he will feign shock

As he trots out a list of the laundry list of lame excuses he has kept  in stock

How America  urgently needs him to fight terrorists by not leaving his own block

Translated to English it sounds like bwack bwack bwack. bwack- bwack. bwack, bwack-bwack

Stunich helps run America into the ditch

June 19, 2008

A   sophist named Andrew Stunich

In the Lawyer game he’s  really found his niche

Resource extractors he loves to enrich

Scraps  off Charlie’s table they do bewitch.

Unattributed quotes just a minor glitch

Defends chicken hawk cowards loitering  in Mich

He’ll twist the truth like a mortars hitch

With political rhetoric  based on fear and  kitch

At the mention of Muslim’s his face will twitch.

He knows that ,for  blowing up America ,they   have an insatiable itch

Regurgitates think tank drivel with a far right pitch

Jesus says “step all over Grandma if helps you  to get rich”

Helps the wrecking crew run America into the ditch

On Armageddon he’d like to throw the ignition  switch

Monster Truck Guy gives the stank eye

June 16, 2008

Rolling down 101, here  comes Monster Truck Guy

His truck has the highest lift  kit money can buy

An engineering marvel, because  gravity it will defy

Looms over everone  blots out the blue sky

Drinks enough gas to drain Texas  and Oklahoma dry

A star spangled custom paint job  he will apply

If his fancy rims get scratched  MTG might just want to cry.

But that he’s anything less than 100% macho don’t you dare imply

Out on the highway he’ll almost drive up your brown eye

Always in a rush to bring along the great greenhouse frizzle fry.

When he rumbles past he’ll give you the stank eye.

His sense of entitlement is just like Captain Bligh

Looking down on people is easy when you’re up so high.

To maintain an affectation of  utter  machismo  he must always  try.

Rose knows Jerry Droz

June 13, 2008

MCK is the home of a lady named Rose

She often likes to build rhetorical scarecrows

An angry blog post, she will compose

Filled with trollish nonsense, just like Jerry Droz

There’s a district Attorney  of whom she’d  like to dispose

She thinks his skill at prosecuting crooks completely blows

Any scurrilous gossip about him, she will presuppose.

When his PL lawsuit is tossed she unabashedly crows

Believes in conspiracy just like UFOs

Dr Ken and Salzman are her implacable foes

At Local Solutions she will thumb her blue nose

Wants to soak all the hippie protesters with a big fire hose

Old boy plutocracy is what  she seeks to reimpose

It makes  her so happy when the rich mans bank account grows


The Plazoid meets Sigmund Freud

June 13, 2008

Deep in the heart of U-town lurks the plazoid

At the bus stop , he’s the fellow you want to avoid

Of any work ethic he’s completely devoid

Its not hard to see why he is chronically unemployed

On his bongos he plays “Into the Void”

Got a Chinese symbol tattooed on his left trapezoid

Authority figures always make him paranoid

On a Guatemalan blanket his glass pipes are deployed

If you dont give him spare change he’ll get mighty annoyed

He’ll rant about how ” you’re a fascistic consumerist droid “

He’ll make you wish your smell sense was null and void

When he finally slouches away it’s hard not be overjoyed

He would be a fascinating case study for Sigmund Freud

The Doc would say: “He blew his mind on too much Pink Floyd”

Ex Chief Murl gets a referral

June 11, 2008

Down at the station, the ex Chief Murl

Gnarled and craggy as a redwood burl

Hair slicked back like the Duke of Earl

The handles on his service revolver are pearl

Officer Liles an AR-15 he will unfurl

He’ll blast anything that moves ,even a squirrel

Before he puts it away he’ll give it a twirl

Up from the scene the gunsmoke will curl.

From both sides now, the epithets hurl

Around the police station the rumors swirl

At the press conference , Ex-Chief gets a bit churl

In his mouth a toothpick he does rapidly twirl.

McGruff the Crime Dog gets his referral

He’s a relic from the days of Milton Berle.

Leo Sears slips some gears

June 11, 2008

Leo Sears and fellow  HTL stalwart  Jerry Partain take in a show at the Arkley Center

Leo Sears and Jerry Partain take in a show at the Arkley Center.

At the Cook house luncheon, Mr Leo Sears

To Howard Jarvis talking points, strictly adheres

With one crabby claw, from the mailbox he spears

A government check thats been coming for years

Living off other peoples’ taxes makes Leo soft between the ears.

His sense of gratitude suddenly disappears

Just as soon as his government pension check clears.

At public expense he makes hay like a fleet of John Deeres.

At social investment Leo sneers and at poor people he jeers.

That government might do something to help YOU is what he fears

The thought that it’s money not going to him is what drives him to tears.

Now here’s a suggestion that’s sure to bring some cheers

Now times are tight and the Terminator brandishes his budget shears,

It’s time to cut Leo off the dole and make him pay arrears