R. Trent gets outspent


There once was a fellow who called himself R. Trent

In letters to the editor he’d often vent

Right wing foibles he’d always lament

Unfortunately his name he’d sometimes misrepresent

That doesn’t invalidate the rest of his argument

To his subjects the letters caused such anguish and torment

That they called the local police to register their discontent

They said he’s committing a breach of trust with fraudulent intent

Never mind that anonymous lobbyists pumping $$$ get their assent

So that at campaign time all the liberals are sure to get outspent.

They were beside themselves with phony outrage over a non event,

Because they always need another straw bogey man to invent.

Treats minor chicanery like a seismic event.

Anyone who thinks I’m “Sarah” must be sniffing rubber cement

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10 Responses to “R. Trent gets outspent”

  1. Heraldo Says:

    There’s an R. Trent behind every bush
    say the paranoid righties who sit on their tush
    and blog paranoid confusion all day
    There’s even a Salzman in Humboldt Bay.

  2. doggerelface Says:

    Salzman’s face in the yellow curtains when they sway

    And in the mashed potatoes at the casino lunch buffet

  3. Carson Park Ranger Says:

    There once was a Richard named Salzman
    When Rose met him she shouted “oh balls, man”
    When he wrote a crank missive
    Her posts were dismissive
    and the lingering quarrel appalls, man

  4. doggerelface Says:

    A political operative who some people call “Dick”

    Used phony names because he thought he was too slick.

    When the Hankster got wind and exposed this trick.

    The Monopoly Man tried to pummel Dick with a silver tipped swagger stick

  5. doggerelface Says:

    R.Trent in a Thai restaurant eating a bamboo shoot

    On his cellular phone , wearing a three piece suit

    To some, the panic he causes it’s very acute.

    Say he does nothing but rake in campaign loot.

    They claim they saw him shove over an HTL coot.

    And incite road rage during the morning commute

    By showing cars with “Rodoni” stickers the middle finger salute.

    a whole host other things we cant possibly refute

    bet he hates Santa and the Easter Bunny to boot

    R.Trent’s face in the contrails of the air route

    Against all that’s good and decent he’s resolute

    keep wishing he’ll get caught in his birthday suit

    Hanging out late in a house of ill repute

    writing nasty letters about people who pollute.

    Always, they say, he is at the center of the dispute.

    Thank you very much it’s been a hoot

  6. Carol Says:

    There once was an activist on Thank Jah
    Who called weekly to say, “Hip-hurrah!”
    Promoting candidates for election,
    Until was given a rejection,
    When a newspaper called in the law!

    His companion, a long-legged mutt,
    Alleged to write letters to strut,
    Her master’s good deed
    Of exposing the greed
    Of many a right-wing nut.

    His house and computers seized and searched,
    With a front-page photo resembling Lurch,
    And nothing was found
    But the rumors abound
    By the sycophants and the un-churched.

  7. Carol Says:

    Though exonerated someday he may be
    By those who’ve despised him with glee
    Like Samuel Clemmons / Mark Twain
    Pseudonyms wreaks some folk’s disdain
    When forgiveness should now be the key!

  8. doggerelface Says:

    It’s true his letters had some pepper
    On the campaign trail, he’s no schlepper
    But nowdays he gets treated like a leper
    Because he’s not an Arkley goose stepper

  9. bambi l peters Says:

    as the storms of winter meander into the Spring,
    we experience the warmth that our balconies can bring.
    Me, I delve into the mind of one in a cell,
    who is learning to live out here and away from that prison hell.
    Yes, I have to cook my own dinner and then scrub out my pot,
    I’ll enjjoy desert, whether i’m ready or not.
    I get to stuff myself with everything I can find,
    in the evenings I seek peace in the shadows of my mind.
    The things I used to do do not amuse me now,
    and I will get published, some way , some how.
    Now my relatives must fill in that slot,
    that makes me feel redeemed, makes me feel like I fought.
    Tha crimes of the past must stay in their hiding place,
    and there will be no mug shots adorned with my face.
    If your looking to bust me, look past my body, still tall,
    I am no longer guilty, I do not have to fall.
    So greetings to all in Humboldt,enjoy yourself a nug,
    if you see me say hi, but don’t expect a hug

  10. Bystander Says:

    Wow, Dick. Back to writing about yourself in the third person. That didn’t take long. You didn’t learn a thing, did you. Fortunately, we’re not through teaching you.

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