Jerry Partain biggest asshole between here and Maine

Shameless ass kissing it helped  him attain

A luxurious lifestyle that your tax dollars maintain

His  ungrateful attitude is difficult to explain

cause he spent most of his life on the government gravy train

Claims he’s self made but he’s just being vain

Perhaps it’s a natural  defect in his lizard brain

Or just an angry old fart huffing on the gas main

hatred of  goverment his letters attempt to ingrain

From public largess everyone else should abstain

So into his own pocket the treasury he can happily  drain.

And use it to fly off on vacations to the North of Spain

Or driving his giant motor home 50 mph in the fast lane

But that’s OK because he knows he’s on a higher moral plane

Thats why His life is one long political campaign

about dirty poor people he will constantly complain

“Just a bunch of deadbeat losers” that’s his constant refrain

says they’ll all use their food stamps to buy crack cocaine

And use their welfare checks to take baths in champagne

as some kind a taxpayer watchdog he will feign

but its clear that he’s only interested in personal gain.

all the money isn’t going to him is what makes him pop a vein

and grumpy enough to throw the welfare brats under a freight train.

Lucky for everyone he’s misplaced his cane

To homeless vets he shows such disdain

Couldn’t care less if they sleep out in the rain

But in 2003 he was such a big fan of showing up Hussein

Bowel movements for him they are such a strain

Even though he’s one of the biggest assholes between Humboldt County and the capitol of Maine

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19 Responses to “Jerry Partain biggest asshole between here and Maine”

  1. Auntie Mayme Says:

    You are so funny!

  2. humboldturtle Says:

    You get better all the time at knowin’ how to rhyme.

  3. Heraldo Says:

    He never saw a clear cut he didn’t like
    Landslide mudflats are easier to hike

  4. Jane Doe Says:

    Partain deserves his share of scorn
    living large while the cost by the public is borne.
    He personifies the polluters
    and loves earth raping colluders,
    but he is best known for blowing his very own horn
    and shoveling shit from animals fat from corn.

  5. Jane Doe Says:

    The last line should be
    and shoveling shit from male animals made fat with corn.


  6. doggerelface Says:

    His hatred for poor people borders on insane

    Always thinks the CEO’s should get a new jet plane

    It’s the natural order he will patronizingly explain.

    Maybe it’s finally his turn to feel the budget pain

    On public policy he’s left a big poop stain

    It’s way past time for his influence to wane

  7. humboldturtle Says:

    Johanna is iffy
    like Cliffy
    but people love Estelle,
    Ms. Fennell.

  8. doggerelface Says:

    Lest anyone think I’m rude for calling Partain an “asshole”

    Let me remind you he likes to brag about flying from pole to pole

    Down the Champs Elysees he’ll take a leisurely stroll.

    Or in a south seas island munching on a spring roll

    The tax payer citizens pick up the tab whole.

    He worked in government as a corporate mole

    As a shill and a bagman he understood his role

    Government regulators he’ll try to cajole

    To do what ever they can to shaft the prole

    Wants to take us all back to the days of the dust bowl

    Ebenezer Scrooge forcing Tiny Tim to shovel coal

    Blames it all on Hippies and Rock and Roll

    Completely self serving are his efforts at tax patrol

    Spent most of his life on the government dole

    Took a lot more off than he ever put on the tax roll

    Long term consequences mean little to an already dead soul.

    Destruction of society seems his ultimate goal

    Because when his self indulgence is done and it’s finally time to pay the toll

    He figures that He’ll already be six feet in the hole

  9. Jane Doe Says:

    Fly in rape and loot
    If caught and from the plane thrown
    Golden parachute

  10. Jane Doe Says:

    The time on your clock
    at 5:20 pm reads
    12:20 a.m

  11. Dusty Says:

    Reduce your taxes!
    Vote Proposition thirteen
    No state money left!

  12. doggerelface Says:

    Always pushing his supply side swill

    All social programs he’d love to kill

    Invisible bony hand in the public till

    He’ll go on vacation and stick us with the bill

  13. doggiebottom Says:

    Are you my mother?

  14. Jerry Partain Says:

    It amazes me how well some people write and how much they know about someone they’ve never met. One way I am entirely different from those who posted here. I’m not ashamed to let you know where I stand and who I am.

  15. Jerry Partain Says:

    I have just reviewed your loving comments listed here. I appreciate your thoughts and all the effort to create such inspiring rhymes. I am surprised at the vast knowledge you have of me sans a meeting. One principle I have that apparently you do not: I always identify myself along with my comments. Jerry Partain

  16. doggerelface Says:

    On Christmas Eve we heard from the original Grinch

    Don’t let him fool you cause he aint no mensch.

    A fat public pension makes his old age a cinch

    even if geriatric elephants give off an awful stench

    pennies for the poor and sick he’ll ruthlessly pinch

    Moldering in the crypt,a wad of Benjamins he’ll clinch

    At all do-gooders he’d like to throw a monkey wrench

    To haul away that safe his cronies will need a big winch.

    While the citizens of California in golden showers they will drench

  17. Dave Estabrook Says:

    I am pleased Jerry ; my dad and all my uncles fought and won WWII

    So we all can exercise free speech and aren’t speaking German

    or Japenese now! I view this blog as a tribute to that generation.

  18. doggerelface Says:

    Singlehandedly Whip the Nazis, an accomplishment that was great

    but not enough to allow a lifetime exemption to skate

    an unbroken record of assholishness for 63 years straight.

    Ever since then He’s been a $$$ grubbing bigot and colossall ingrate

    when has he ever spoke up for vets in public debate?

    He’s content t to leave his poorer brothers to a grim fate.

    He’s too busy drawing a fat check from the state.

    Bite the hand that feeds him and insist that it’s great.

    Brass balled hypocracy is his defining trait ..

  19. robash141 Says:

    Dave Estabrook Says:

    December 31, 2008 at 1:13 pm
    I am pleased Jerry ; my dad and all my uncles fought and won WWII

    So we all can exercise free speech and aren’t speaking German

    or Japenese now! I view this blog as a tribute to that generation

    Dave it’s worth mentioning that when Jerry Partain was a young man during World War II, there was a military draft .
    I won’t denegrate the man’s military service
    However, it’s worth noting , appearantly the only time in his life when Jerry Partain didn’t act in a completely self serving and cynical manner was when he had to be compelled by the force of law to do otherwise.
    I respect his service it’s just the rest of his life that looks shabby.

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