Posts Tagged ‘McGruff the Crime Dog’

Frank makes them walk the plank

July 15, 2008

An EPD blogger who took the movie name Serpico, Frank

And seemed like an unhappy militant crank

Cashes a public paycheck down at bank

Plots to stick the new Chief with a rhetorical shank

Says the new Chief was much too fond of pulling some rank

Starts rumors that he’s rolling with a dispatcher sharing some skank

He’s angry because Murl’s Captain bars The new Chief did yank

And sent him to get coffee and donuts without bothering to thank

Plus he canceled that DHS grant that they were using to buy a big tank

Besides that Garr’s clothes and car are just a little too swank

About a host of other petty grievances Frank did wank

Says that job should have gone to the buddy with whom he drank

Because he wants to make the west side more like West Bank

And tase all those dirty hippies who are smoking the dank

And billy club the street people like Hammerin’ Hank

And make all the homosexuals walk the plank

Make everyone he doesn’t like hear the Jail door’s clank

But faster than you can say “Joe Friday” the supporters shrank

When Garfish showed he was the biggest one in the Fish tank

and away in defeat his rivals slank

Now the “Above the Law Eureka ” blog says “about blank”

And clean out of view Frank Serpico has mercifully sank.

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Ex Chief Murl gets a referral

June 11, 2008

Down at the station, the ex Chief Murl

Gnarled and craggy as a redwood burl

Hair slicked back like the Duke of Earl

The handles on his service revolver are pearl

Officer Liles an AR-15 he will unfurl

He’ll blast anything that moves ,even a squirrel

Before he puts it away he’ll give it a twirl

Up from the scene the gunsmoke will curl.

From both sides now, the epithets hurl

Around the police station the rumors swirl

At the press conference , Ex-Chief gets a bit churl

In his mouth a toothpick he does rapidly twirl.

McGruff the Crime Dog gets his referral

He’s a relic from the days of Milton Berle.